my hero

It’s Saturday. I don’t know what exactly to write today. I have been thinking since yesterday, crushing my mind to generate Idea, yet I end up staring blankly at my laptop and finally I gave up and joined syireen watching South Park hoping that maybe I can do it better tomorrow. So today is the tomorrow and here I am doing the same thing.

I’m not feeling very well today, not physically but mentally. I feel something is missing in my life, something really important and something that I missed so much. I can’t exactly figure out and describe what it is but it makes me feels like home. I don’t know what exactly I want to do in my life, what is my goal, what I want to be in the future. Now I have second thought about the path that I have taken. Is it exactly what I want to be in the future? But now it’s too late for turning back. I’m not the kind of girl that will give up easily. I’ll find my way to make it a success. ‘it’ is the thing that keep me on the right track. Even though now it is thousand miles away from me but it still give me strength and support me from far. ‘it’ that I was referring to is the undefined love from a person that we call ‘mom’

Today I’m going to write about my mom. Her name is Rozi binti Ahmad, nice and simple. This year she is 42 years old. She bore seven children including me which I think pretty amazing for a not-so-old-woman like her to have a lot of child that for a fact, enough to build a netball team. Now she lives thousand miles away from me and I only got a chance to contact her for once a month and that if I’m lucky enough. However I never blame her for not calling me because I’m really understand her situation. In January 2006, she and my other siblings followed my father to Sheffield, United Kingdom as my father want to pursue his studies there. Apparently, I’m the only one who remained in Malaysia and later on my sister joined me, the lonely child, in Malaysia after studying in the UK for two years. Ever since my mom when to UK, I stayed with my aunt in Melaka.

I’m very proud of my mom. She is a great a woman and she is my source of inspiration. Even though her education background is not so impressive, but she succeeds to raise her child well. So far, all of us are doing great on our own field. My eldest sister got a place in one of the best medic university in UK, I’m a government sponsored student to pursue my studies in Australia, my brother is announced as the best goalkeeper in his club in Sheffield and entered Manchester City Sport academy, and my other siblings always became the best student in their school because of good behavior. We are nothing without her. Another thing that makes me look up on her is her patience and hard work. I never blame on why she contact me very seldom because I know she work all day to make a living. And all of the money that she got is not for her but for her child. I remember one time when I got a good result in SPM and at the same day it was my birthday. I never got birthday present from my mom in my life because she never worked before and I never complain anything about it. So that day, my mom gave me a hand phone as a present. Even though I know how hard she work, but she still put her child needs first. My mom never asked money from my dad.

She thought me about life that I never realized before. Women should never fully depending on her husband. They have to make a living on her own as to protect herself if something unexpected happen. My mom is my hero. She gone through a lot of bad experienced in her marriage and she never stop to give advice for me and my siblings. She doesn’t want her child to experience what she had gone through. Even though I never say it out loud how much I love her and appreciate what her deed but the only thing I can do as a reward after all sacrifices she made to our family is to excel in my studies. Mom, I wished you hear me, I’m always here for you and I will pray for your happiness and forgive me if all this while I’ve been a bad child and make you life even harder. I never meant to hurt you and I want you to know that I always love you.

I think I’m going to end my writing now. Thanks Mr Derick for reading and I will write more.